


But, Sir! I'm just a good Christian boy!

by Emlysium



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pastel Dan and Punk Phil, Prompt Fic, Smoking, church youth group meetings, rebellious phil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-20 09:32:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emlysium/pseuds/Emlysium
Summary: Phil, a brooding bored punk gets forced into going to a church youth group meeting and becomes completely enamoured by Dan.Based off this prompt"imagine punk!phil being forced to go to a church group for young people to try and help him to stop being rebellious and stop smoking. There he meets pastel!dan who is a precious little cupcake who always manages to see the positive messages in the readings. They get together and phil kind of cleans up his act while Dan learns, it's ok to be a little looser."





	1. Face full of roses

“Phil, that wasn’t a recommendation. You will go to the Christian Youth group meeting.”

The school counselor had now been seeing Phil at least three times a week due to his……. unique way of expressing himself.

Phil sat there glowering his face an excruciating mix of; “There’s no fucking way in hell that’s happening.” And almost defeat.

He dug his black boots into the carpet, sighing “How often do I have to go?”

Miss Oxley smiled gently, “We’ll just go to the first meeting and take it from there ok?”

Phil wandered through the empty playground, late slip crushed in his pocket, his slender fingers trying to find something to fiddle with, his cigarettes and lighter absent in the school uniform after having them confiscated for the umpteenth time. God school is some bullshit he thought to himself.

He needed a distraction before he got so bored, it consumed him. He noticed a garish light pink bag with flower details and a unicorn bag token temptingly dangling over one of the smaller pockets. It was just sitting there.

Hmmm, what to do? His finger brushed against something long, thin and plastic in his trouser pockets a whole bunch of mini black zip ties. Well, some distraction is better than no distraction. He zip tied the zippers, shoulder straps together and was about to zip tie it to a pole. A teacher turned a corner, his bored expression immediately melting into the pure intense rage, like a furnace “Lester!”

Phil instantaneously dropped the bag and sprinted like a bandit. He ran to the metal work rooms, rolling his eyes contemptuously. He was just bored why was that such a problem?

A loud knocking on Saturday awoke him. He rolled over in his covers maybe if I just sleep they’ll go away. The knocking persisted. “Phillip Michael Lester! This is the last time I’m knocking on your door! Someone’s here to see you.”  His mother’s voiced pierced his thin veil of drowsiness he groggily sat up, looking at his bedside table.  The time on his phone read 10:30. He had exactly 14 minutes to get dressed and get to church. He sat up in bed and yanked the door open before his mother bashed it down. She looked up at him fiercely hands on her hips. “Get dressed, get down stairs on the double, otherwise you can say goodbye to us paying half for your car.” 

He huffed, fuck low blow.

“Ugh fine. Tell Miss I’ll be down in a minute.”

His mother nodded and closed the door softly. He combed his long fingers through his fringe. Right, clothes. He found a pair of black ripped skinny jeans and a Muse T-shirt. He slipped them on and found his lighter lying on the ground along with a packet of cigarette papers and tobacco and checked all his piercings were still in place. He plodded down the stairs. His mother stood next to the front door trying to reassure Miss Oxley that he was coming shortly.

“Ah, Phil, so glad you decided to finally get up.” She said, sweet and genuine.

He cocked his head slightly confused, but shrugged it off, grabbing his jacket of the coat rack. His mother tutted as he pushed past her through the front door.

“Phillip!” His mother called him as he was halfway down the footpath

“Have a good time ok? Or at the very least, try to not scare the shit out of the kids?”

The counselor chuckled gently as he smirked, waving goodbye to his mum. Miss Oxley walked to her car, Phil shuffling behind. He hopped in the car and brooded whilst he flicked his lighter on and off. He glanced and the clock in the dashboard reading 10:40. Miss Oxley exhaled deeply

“Feel like breaking some speed limits?”

They arrived at the church with exactly 24 seconds to spare. Miss Oxley sprinted dragging Phil, stopping suddenly

“Oh shit! I forgot something! I’ll be right back, you go in ok? You’ll be fine without me!”

He worried the part of his lip between his snake bites, but hesitantly climbed the stairs, slowly opening the church door. He was smashed in the face by a vibrant assault of large pastel roses and brunette curls. He looked down on the person who he had just crashed into expecting to find a pissed off face coupled with a bitchy

“Watch where you’re going!”

But all he was met with was the rich chocolate brown eyes and a smile.

Oh…..Dear……God…


	2. Punk sheep, Pastel Sheep

“You must be the new kid! Please take a seat. We’re starting soon.” The boy in front of Phil was all smiles and sincerity, completely oblivious to Phil’s shock and bewilderment. Phil awkwardly shuffled to an empty pew close to the group of teens sitting around. A few of them were gazing at Phil shyly. One girl smiled at him, smoothing her dress that had been buttoned up all the way to her neck. Phil spread his thighs, placing his hand on his hip, his fingers curling towards his crotch. Her face turned pink, eyes lingering curiously at him even when one of the boys pulled her into his chest. He shot Phil a dirty look, to which he merely winked back.

“Once again Daniel, thank you so much. I really hope you can get through to him.” Miss Oxley came in, out of breath.

Daniel, huh. Well at least now Phil knew what name to call out to late at night.

 

“Alright everyone, let’s get in close. Miss Oxley has brought a new sheep to the flock.” 

 

A few scattered giggles were heard. Phil looked up from picking at his nails. He devoured Daniel with his eyes. He was wearing a pair of faded purple and pink tights that clung to his thick thighs, outlining his shape very clearly. Unfortunately, no crotch could be seen. The view was skewed by that goddamn white mesh sweater. Daniel seemed so out of place amongst the clean-cut Christian kids.

 

“Oh, Phil. How about you come sit down next to Immanuel . He won’t bite.” 

Phil could hardly hold back his snigger. He took a place next to the boy in a white dress shirt. He was starched so stiffly Phil doubted he could he even move. The boy,  _ Immanuel _ , gulped as Phil glared at him, waiting for him to slide over. He willingly obliged, averting his gaze from Phil.

 

“So, everyone, this is Phillip Lester. Miss Oxley has kindly brought him here.” Dan announced to the group.

 

“It’s Phil”

“Oh, do you prefer Phil?”

Phil couldn’t help but roll his eyes. 

 

“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t”

“Well then,  _ Phil _ , are you familiar with the parable of the lost sheep?”

 

Phil gave a slow tentative nod. Lost sheep. That was the one where some shepherd lost one of his sheep and he went on some epic journey to find it. 

 

“Yeah I know it.”

“Wonderful!” 

 

Dan smiled softly as some of the various patient voices chimed in with their readings and interpretation of the reading. Phil really wasn’t paying much attention, but rather focusing on the obvious lack of panty line through Dan’s tights. Jesus Christ he must be going commando or something under there.

 

“Phil, can you see any real-life application of the story?” 

“Huh?” 

 

Dan softly sighed in annoyance. When he turned to talk to one of the other kids, Phil huffed. Of course, he may dress like a cotton candy coloured slut, but he was still a little goody two slippers.  _ Clearly I am not worth your precious time Cupcake, _ Phil thought to himself.  _ Such a shame you are a fantastic piece off ass. _

Sometime later after Phil had realised this had been a desperate last-ditch attempt to “save his soul”, something was said about the group singing together before they left. So, they were literally in the last few minutes of this torture, and some kid though  _ now _ was an appropriate time to bust out their shitty acoustic guitar.

 

No Fucking Thank you.

 

He got up, drawing the eyes of the group. As he walked down the aisle and out the door, the twanging chords of the acoustic bled out, their feeble tendrils attempting to claw at his heart. It was failing miserably, only succeeding in contributing to his stabbing headache. He could feel the kids all glaring at him, but to be honest he could not give a flying fuck. Right now, all he wanted was a smoke and to go home.

He sat on the crumbling red brick fence of the church, reaching to his back pocket pulling out his papers, tobacco and lighter. As his fingers grabbed at the paper, he noticed it was about the same thickness of Bible paper. He pinched at the tobacco, placing it in the trough of paper carefully placed between his lips.

As he lit it up, the first puff of smoke billowed up softly, gently then dissipated into the similarly grey and oblique sky. The herd slowly wondered out of the church, their chatter light and sweet. They all wondered off one by one, their parents pulling up in flawless pristine cars. He could almost hear one of the parents as they drove by him. 

 

“Oh, Therese, who’s that boy on the fence? Should we call the police?”

 

He scoffed to himself. Miss Oxley lingered by the doors. Phil tried to mentally scream at her that he was ready to go. When she showed no sign of leaving, he huffed like a raging bull. That was, until he noticed something coming into his line of sight.

  
  
  


“Hi. I’m not interrupting you, am I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and an even bigger thanks to my Beta reader FantasyChild9

**Author's Note:**

> So? What do you think? Please comment if you want more! Hats off to those who commented and kudos on my other works!  
> Emlysium!


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